Our relationship started about 4 years ago.  As I indicated earlier, I had taken my car to Airpark Auto Service in early August 2010 to get it serviced.  Nadine came out and talked for over an hour.  I suggested that we go for a cup of coffee sometime and she replied, “That would be great, but let me get Tyler settled into his new High School, and I will give you a call.”

I waited and waited and waited for that call.  It never came.  No text.  No email.  No phone call.  I didn’t know what to think.  Had she blown me off and really didn’t want to go for coffee but was being nice?  Was her interest genuine?  I waited for 9 months and I thought I would give it one more shot, so about May 2011 of the following year, I wrote her an email and put the lack of response on me.  “I have been remiss in not getting back to you about coffee, and was wondering if you wanted to go out for coffee like we had suggested a few months earlier?”

To my surprise, I got an email back within 3 minutes of my email stating that she would love to get together, but that she was driving across country and was in Tennessee as she was writing the email.  She mentioned that she needed two or three weeks to get things settled and she would give me a call.  I had heard that before, but about a week later I called her and we set up a  Friday morning coffee time.

What happened over the next two hours of our conversation was truly remarkable.  I began to reveal things in my closet that I wasn’t proud of but that she needed to know about me and my journey through life.  I told her about the death of my wife (suicide) and it’s effect on me and on my children.  I revealed the journey I had taken in trying to be a single parent, a mother, a father, a provider, all at the same time.  I didn’t want Nadine to find out later down the road about things in my past that I had not revealed to her.  I wanted her to know everything about me and make a decision to move forward with all the truth.  I was totally vulnerable with her.

When she heard my story, she felt safe enough to begin to tell her story and became totally vulnerable with me.  We laid everything out on the table for the other to see.  There were no hidden agendas.  There were no skeletons in the closet.  What you see is what you get.  The foundation for our future relationship was set on solid ground.  We have never been surprised by things of our past, because we both know one another’s past right from the get-go.

Principle

It’s important for someone you are interested in to accept you just the way you are.  If a person has problems of your past, you want to know that right up front and not hear that concern as you move toward commitment with each other.  To have someone know your past and accept you is a wonderful feeling.  It happens when you are totally vulnerable up front.