My father served in World War II and was successful in coming home after the war.  He landed on Normandy Beach D-Day plus 4 and had as part of his responsibility the clean up of soldiers, German and American, on the beach.  I have a whole box of German metals and swastikas that were cut from the dead soldiers.  World War II was won and the American and British soldiers came back to their homeland, but something was left in France and other countries where the war was fought.  Land Mines.  Thousands of them.  When you read the stories of these mines, the French used German POW’s to be mine clearers after the war.  There is no clear record of how many died, but an estimate of 1800 were killed in the early mine sweeping expeditions.

There are still reports as late as December 2011 of these mines blowing up, 65+ years later.  The war was won decades ago, but the mines that were planted 1/2 century ago are still having an impact in the countries in which they were wired.  In a similar way, we can resolve the issues of the past, but there may be triggers in the present or the future that cause us to respond or react in similar ways of the past that need to be unwired.  Let me give you an example.

I grew up with a perfectionistic father who looked at life from a negative lens.  I remember cutting the grass for the first time and was so proud of what I had done.  When I showed him my accomplishment, he said, “You missed a spot.”  He didn’t see all the blades of grass I had cut, but saw the ones I missed.  When I cleaned tools for him, he didn’t see the tools I cleaned but the spots I missed.  I had resentment from these interactions with him and I resolved my sophomore year in college and he and I cultivated a wonderful relationship until he died in 1990.  The problem I began to see is that when I interacted with personalities that were similar to my dad, I would react to them the same way I did with my dad.  I pushed limits so when he said to be home at 10:00 pm, I would be home at 10:02.  It was a passive way I used to vent my frustration toward him.  Well, I did the same thing toward bosses I had and got in trouble for it.  I had to unwire the triggers and realize that even though I had victory with my dad, there were mines in my mind that I had to unwire.

In order to unwire the mine/mind field’s, we first of all need to become aware of the patterns of reactions we have when someone triggers the mine in our minds.  I realized that when people in my life with similar personalities of my father came along, I would react in similar ways that I did with my father.  The first step in unwiring a mine is to realize that it is there.  Any denial, minimization, or justification when someone confronts us will cause us to react in similar ways and keep the mine wired for future explosions.  The next step is to set up an interaction that can elicit a different response.  Had my dad focused on saying some positive things about what I was doing, I would have been able to react in a different way and not see the mine triggered.

Principle

Dealing with and resolving past issues is an important step.  Becoming aware of possible mines in our head as a result of the effects of those issues need to be dealt with.  Awareness of the mine/mind is the first step in the process of unwiring those mines and experiencing freedom for maximizing our present and future relationships.